Cube, 1997

Not an incredible movie, but it’s pretty good. Obviously made on a low budget. The so-so acting and cheesy dialogue are a bi off-putting, particularly at first, but once it got going I was able to get pretty sucked into it. I’ve seen this once before, probably some time during high school, but I couldn’t really remember what happened, so that was good.

It was cool to hear where some of the samples from Agoraphobic Nosebleed’s song Pentagram Constellation (on The Poacher Diaries) come from, too. I recognised Halloway’s voice before it got to her lines, but I didn’t pick Worth’s. “It’s all the same machine, right? The Pentagon, multi-national corporations, the police! If you do one little job, you build a widget in Saskatoon, and the next thing you know, it’s two miles under the desert, the essential component of a death machine!”. It was really weird watching that scene and knowing the lines off by heart. I guess the  track title relates to the movie too. Not so sure about the lyrics. Maybe.

I’ve heard Cube 2 really sucks, but I’ll check it out soon. I just saw there’s a third one too, which is a prequel. Hmm…


Orgazmo, 1997

Orgazmo is good, but not great. Good to see lots of the guys from Cannibal! making appearances, and there’s lots of jokes that are in the same style but all-in-all, I felt like it didn’t quite have the same appeal, for me. I shouldn’t really make comparisons to Cannibal because a) it’s one of my favourite movies ever (how many times have I typed that now…) and b) they’re completely different movies with nothing in common except the writers and some actors. But, there ya go, I just compared them.

Final verdict: not as good as Cannibal. 7/10 beans.

Plump Fiction

Plump Fiction, 1997

I’d never heard a single thing about this movie until one day in March 2004 when I saw it for sale at Video Ezy, Stud Park. In the ten years since then, I again failed to see or hear one iota about it. I always secretly held out hope that it would be an undiscovered cult classic of satire and comedy.

Unfortunately, the reason I hadn’t heard anything about it is because it sucks. 1/10 beans. The only good joke was that the guy playing John Travolta would continually ask people, “You know what they call ____ in France?”. Doesn’t sound funny, but it got a laugh out of me.

And actually, the girl who was playing the Mallory Knox character really had Juliette Lewis’ acting down pat. That was the most impressive part of the movie, for me.

The whole thing basically led up to one final joke; a clever commentary on the fashion of movies that aren’t in chronological order. But that joke was obvious from the first five minutes of the movie.